Ко дню, так сказать.
Feb. 14th, 2008 04:06 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
madmaxthesniper*What Not To Say To Your Valentine...*
These were entries for a Washington Post competition asking for a rhyme
with the most romantic first line and least romantic second line:
Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss
But I only slept with you, because I was pissed.
I thought that I could love no other
Until, that is, I met your brother.
Roses are red, violets are blue,
sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead,
the sugar bowls empty and so is your head.
Of loving beauty you float with grace
If only you could hide your face.
Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not.
I want to feel your sweet embrace
But don't take that paper bag off of your face.
I love your smile, your face, your eyes-
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!
My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you screwed up my life.
I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.
My love, you take my breath away.
But what have you stepped in to smell this way?
My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe "go to hell!"
What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.
These were entries for a Washington Post competition asking for a rhyme
with the most romantic first line and least romantic second line:
Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss
But I only slept with you, because I was pissed.
I thought that I could love no other
Until, that is, I met your brother.
Roses are red, violets are blue,
sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead,
the sugar bowls empty and so is your head.
Of loving beauty you float with grace
If only you could hide your face.
Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not.
I want to feel your sweet embrace
But don't take that paper bag off of your face.
I love your smile, your face, your eyes-
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!
My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you screwed up my life.
I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.
My love, you take my breath away.
But what have you stepped in to smell this way?
My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe "go to hell!"
What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.
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no subject
Date: 2008-02-14 09:18 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-02-14 11:20 pm (UTC)в коллекцию:
Сначала Валентин был римским пресвитером. Потом римляне влили ему в жопу свинец. Потом отрезали яйца. Потом заставили их съесть. И только потом отрубили голову. Произошло это во времена императора Caesar Marcus Aurelius Claudius Augustus.
День его смерти стал праздником влюбленных и вообще большого секса не из-за анально-генитально-оральной пыточной схемы, а потому что надо было вытеснить из обычаев римского народа праздник Луперкалий. 14 февраля юноши и девушки, гадая, получали имя влюбленного партнера на год. Схему гадания сохранили. Имя партнера поменяли на имя святого покровителя. Новое название прижилось. Память о старом обычае осталась.
Мораль: как бы я не провел этот день, боюсь, что Валентин провел его еще хуже.